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Illustration: Alex McCrae

Mar 14, 2021
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Euryvocalic words

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AWADmail Issue 976

A Compendium of Feedback on the Words in A.Word.A.Day
and Other Tidbits about Words and Language

From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
Subject: 27th anniversary contest: euryvocalic headline

What a funny, thoughtful, clever collection of responses we received in response to the contest inviting euryvocalic news headlines, real or fictional! We received more than 300 entries. Thank you everyone for entering the contest. As the reader Pete Jones (pete jones.to) wrote: YOU’rE A hIt!

It was hard to select just a few winning entries, but here they are, in no particular order:

Ugly Man Bites Dog
-Mike New, Ottawa, Canada (mike noozoo.com)

Women May Smoke In Public, Says Court
(An actual headline, Hearst’s Sunday American, Atlanta, Georgia, Mar 4, 1917.)
-Mikelle Fields, Kansas City, Missouri (mikelle.fields kcmo.org)

Why Trump Is A Loser
(By Rosamund Pike; The Daily Focus; April Twenty Fourth)
(a euryvocalic publication, fictitious; a euryvocalic author line, real name repurposed; a euryvocalic date.)
-Steve Babbage, Newbury, UK (steve babbagemail.com)

Winners receive their choice of a copy of any of my books or a copy of the word game One Up!. Read on for honorable (and dishonorable) mentions. Entries that include aeiouy exactly once are in bold, those that include aeiouwy exactly once are in bold+italics.

Queen Forgives Harry
-Jeffrey Ho, London, UK (jeff jeffreyho.com)

(Prefer to see the headline “Harry Forgives Queen” because it’s Lizzie who needs to ask for forgiveness from Meghan and Harry, but for the purposes of this contest it’s still a fine entry. -Ed.)

Aye, IOU
(Legislation affirming that a signed IOU is a legally-binding document passes by unanimous vote.)
-Robert Sinton, Christchurch, New Zealand (robert.awad sinton.net.nz)

”Y, I O U an E.”
(Said the loser of an alpha bet.)
-Tom Stafford, Springfield, Ohio (bytomstafford gmail.com)

Ind Yank Eng Out
(In the recent India-England cricket test match series, England fell out of contention for a slot in the coveted World Test Championship final, when it lost the third test.)
Doha Buys Pfizer
(Qatar’s decision to go for Pfizer’s Covid vaccine.)
-Surya Narayanan, Doha, Qatar (saiprajwal gmail.com)

Man Bites Dog, Truly!
-Chris Franklin, Sarnia, Canada (christopher.franklin worley.com)

Man Bites Dog; Funny
-Victor A Poleshuck, MD, Rochester, New York (vpoleshuck gmail.com)

Kamala Needles Mitch: “Prop Trump? Why?”
(Each word is univocalic and in alphabetical order.)
-Frank Crouch, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania (fcrouch29 gmail.com)

Trump Asks: “Why Not King Me?”
-John Rensenhouse, Kansas City, Missouri (renhouse me.com)

Trump’s Attorney Flips
-Sondra Landin, New York, New York (sunnytravel att.net)

Trump Finally Convicted
-Geoffrey M. Glick, New York, New York (gmglick gmail.com)

Trump Really Doing Jail Time
-Ed Rush, Atascadero, California (edmundrush gmail.com)

New QAnon Theory Predicts Trump Will Return in April as Easter Bunny
(Real satire by Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker)
-Charles Harp, Oak Bay, Canada (texzenpro yahoo.com)

Convict Hawley & Cruz
-Monica Mandel, Oriental, North Carolina (monicacmandel gmail.com)

Biden Ably Wins US Post
(I worked for 10 years as a journalist and wrote dozens of headlines every night. The challenge then was size and brevity -- fitting in all the elements in 36 or 42 points within three columns or two... Today the challenge is six letters.)
-Gautam Basu, New Delhi, India (basug who.int)

Dewey Wins Over Truman!
-John Ingle, Lovettsville, Virginia (j.ingle verizon.net)

Queen Disowns Harry
-Ira Artman, Metuchen, New Jersey (ira.artman miacanalytics.com)

Aliens by UFO!
-Barbara Brown, Anchorage, Alaska (holdthisthought gmail.com)

Slimy Real-Estate Mogul Elected
Asinine Senate Votes “Not Guilty”
Baby Bear Finds Blonde Human in Bed
Yogi Berra Announces It Gets Late Early Out There
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Nut Screws and Bolts City
-Shyamal Mukherji, Mumbai, India (mukherjis hotmail.com)

Rapid City Journal Reports Jefferson Missing From Rushmore
-Janice Power, Cleveland, Ohio (powerjanice782 gmail.com)

Cuomo Skips NY Race
-Ira Artman, Metuchen, New Jersey (ira.artman miacanalytics.com)

City-Dump Rats Protest
(A story about the impact of required composting laws.)
-Gail Zimmerman, Hanover, New Hampshire (zimmerman.gail gmail.com)

Ate Piously
(A story about how nuns lost weight. Has the added blessing of using each vowel only once and in alphabetical order.)
-Jonathan Chilvers, Saltspring Island, Canada (chilvers telus.net)

Headless Body Found in Topless Bar
-Wolfgang Lehner, Brooklyn, New York (lehner.wolfgang gmail.com)

Tom Dewey Wins vs. Truman
-Marty Vasas, Brooklyn, New York (marty.vasas gmail.com)

Alien Army Runs GOP
-Anil Nerurkar, Wayne, New Jersey (anil.nerurkar yahoo.com)

Ugly Florida Man Sues RNC
Greedy Florida Man Requests Donations
Florida Man Spurned by RNC
Irony Rules as Florida Man Votes By Mail
Appeal of Florida Man Rejected by Court
Florida Man Could Destroy Party
-Elaine Leibly, Woodstock, Vermont (eleibly wcsu.net)

Dr. Gupta Predicts: Covid Gone By Thursday
(Using each vowel twice. Something all loyal CNN viewers are waiting for.)
-William Politt, Weare, New Hampshire (william.03281 gmail.com)

Small Earthquake in Chile, Not Many Dead
Famous in the UK in its day. See The Irish Times.
-John Mitchell, Sydney, Australia (awad lists.joggernet.com)

Scopes “Guilty” In Ape Case (The Chicago Daily News, Jul 21, 1925)
Marilyn Monroe Found Dead (Los Angeles Times, 1962)
Shuttle Tragedy Stuns Nation (The Chicago Tribune, 1986)
-Leslie V Boyer, Tucson, Arizona (boyer viper.arizona.edu)

Mentally Fit After Head Amputation
-Janet Rizvi, Gurgaon, India (janetrizvi gmail.com)

Equality Now!
(Re: International Women’s Day which is today)
Wordsmith Going Since Tonya Hit
-Clem West, Commenailles, France (clemthewest gmail.com)

An Ed Is Of Us -- Fy!
(New Zealand headline when Ed Sheeran finally passes this gruelling quiz for citizenship (video, 44 sec.). OED definition of Middle English fy)
-Bob Stein, Brushton, New York (stein visibone.com)

Harry & Meghan Open Up to Winfrey
-R Ramnath, Coimbatore, India (ramudada gmail.com)

Italy Surrenders, Unconditionally
-Tom Oakes, Southbury, Connecticut (toakes snet.net)

Biden, Not Trump: Yay!
-Dan Crawford, Chicago, Illinois (crawfordd3741 sbcglobal.net)

Sheboygan Has Its Own Poet Laureate
(It’s true! Also, I live euryvocalically in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, USA.)
-Lisa Vihos, Sheboygan, Wisconsin (lisavihos gmail.com)

Anu Garg and A.Word.A.Day Since 1994!
-John Schoonover, Sayre, Pennsylvania (schoonoj gmail.com)

Lady Eats Alphabet Soup
(Subhead: Has big vowel movement)
-Will Conway, Dover, New Hampshire (flats14 comcast.net)


My daughter’s name is Amy Louise.
-Cheryl Riley Peters, Moses Lake, Washington (cpeters137 comcast.net)

(All six vowels, once and only once. I nominate her as the official spokesperson for the Euryvocalics Association. -Ed.)

I have a friend named Mary Louise.
-Pat Hogan, Stevens Point, Wisconsin (via website comments)

mY nAmE sUppOrts It: thOmAs qUIglEY.
-Thomas Quigley, Fishers, Indiana (totmquigley gmail.com)

I had recognized that my full name was euryvocalic; l just did not previously know the word for it.
-Susan Diane Lyon, Sammamish, Washington (sdlyon72 gmail.com)

My maiden name is Lila Joyce Terlouw.
-Lila J. Berger, Oswego, Illinois (lilaberger comcast.net)

Just realised that my name is euryvocalic.
-Uday Gaitonde, Mumbai, India (gaitondeun gmail.com)

I never knew my name, Suzanne Nicole Glynn, was euryvocalic.
-Suzanne Glynn King, Schenectady, New York (s.glynnking gmail.com) My full name is William Andrew Young and my father’s name was William Fletcher Young.
-Bill “Don’t call me Junior!” Young, Vernon, Connecticut (billsplut gmail.com)

New York Herald Tribune
-Bob Luckey, Hypoluxo, Florida (luckeybob aol.com)

Now that you mention it, my name is euryvocalic: Claude Merzon Galinsky! Happy 27th anniversary!
-Claude Galinsky, Westford, Massachusetts (cmgalinsky gmail.com)

My full name is euryvocalic: Meredith Ray McQuoid-Greason.
-Meredith McQuoid-Greason, Davidsonville, Maryland (mcquoidm si.edu)

My full name comes close to euryvocalic, so I have to embellish ever so slightly: “Jeffrey Todd Anbinder, dude”.
-Jeffrey Anbinder, Brooklyn, New York (jta1 cornell.edu)


My home is in euryvocalic Surrey, British Columbia.
-Leah Murray, Surrey, Canada (leah leahmurray.ca)

Albuquerque, New Mexico, where I live, is supervocalic.
-Ginger Lawrence, Albuquerque, New Mexico (via website comments)


The much-maligned song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” has a euryvocalic title.
-John C. George, Barnesville, Georgia (jgeorge gordonstate.edu)

I have a univocalic name. Thanks for teaching me this new fact!
-Nancy Marshall (nancyquilts54 gmail.com)

One of the many reasons why I love French is that it is so vowelly. The word oiseau (bird) for instance has all the vowels with only one interloper.
-Rosemary Helen Lloyd, Mt Barker, South Australia (rolloyd indiana.edu)

From: Richard S. Russell (RichardSRussell tds.net)
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--autokinesy

And what do you call a word that only* makes use of one vowel?

A: indefinite singular** article preceding consonant
E: proposed 3rd-person singular “human” pronoun
I: 1st-person singular pronoun
O: vocative particle (“O Christmas Tree”)
U: text-speak*** for 2nd-person singular pronoun (“you”, but not “y’all”)
Y: text-speak*** for interrogative adverb (“why”)

*See what I did with the “only” there?
**Russian, of course, gets by without articles at all; English dispenses with them for the indefinite plural article.
***Dictionaries being descriptive rather than prescriptive, shortcuts like these are well on their way to being regularized and accepted. Thank you, oyayubi sedai.

Richard S. Russell, Madison, Wisconsin

From: Patrick Lashbrook (plashbrook msn.com)
Subject: Autokinesy

The Greek word for automobile is αυτοκίνητο (autokinito). A very literal relationship, though I do not know which is the original.

Patrick Lashbrook, Johnson City, Tennessee

From: Steve Kirkpatrick (stevekirkp comcast.net)
Subject: hypogeusia

I learned the related word dysgeusia after I did two small fillings for a patient, then she came back a week later, telling me that I had “killed her taste buds”. I went through the usual questions about new medications, allergies, or recent illnesses. Mystified, I went back to meds: Any changes in dosages? Yes, the same day I did the fillings, her MD had doubled her dosage of one med that listed dygeusia, or altered taste sensation, as a possible side-effect. I asked her to keep taking the med as directed, but to ask her MD if there would be an alternative.

Steve Kirkpatrick, DDS, Olympia, Washington

From: Victor A Poleshuck (vpoleshuck gmail.com)
Subject: Hypogeusia

One of the precision anomalies in medicine is the widespread use of the word anemia to mean a reduced quantity of red blood cells. The word should be hypemia; no one would be alive with true anemia. I’ve always wondered as to the source of this an-/hypo- mix-up.

Victor A Poleshuck, MD, Rochester, New York

From: Geoff Stern (geoffstern verizon.net)
Subject: coequality

I guess mine is one howl in a gale of protests. Coequal is from the Department of Redundancy Dept, yeah?

If one says the Federal government comprises three equal branches, how is that different from saying they are coequal? Is there any use for this word at all? It sounds more impressive or precise or formal, but -- Well, let’s hear the other howls.

Geoff Stern, Littleton, Massachusetts

We can say (1 + 4) equals (3 + 2). Even though the expression (1 + 4) uses completely different numerals from (3 + 2), they are equal in all respects. You can replace one with another anywhere without a second thought. You can pay for your latte at a Starbucks with a dollar bill from one pocket and four from another. Or three dollar-bills from one pocket and a dollar from a credit card. You still get the exact same sweet cup of latte, with a cute flower or heart design on the top.

In the US, we have the three coequal branches of the federal government: executive, legislative, and judiciary. Not one is above the other (at least theoretically), but you couldn’t replace one with another. You need one of each. Two judiciary and one executive would still make three branches, supposedly equivalent in power and standing, but so far I haven’t found any takers. Imagine the number of dollar bills we could save and lattes we could buy with them if we replaced 535 members of Congress with another set of just nine Supreme Court justices. And that’s not counting the savings in grandstanding and blather (Ted Cruz, I’m looking at you).
-Anu Garg

From: Alex McCrae (ajmccrae277 gmail.com)
Subject: sanguinolency and enunciatory

Sanguinolency, Transylvanian Style!
In this cartoon, I may have stretched the bounds of the definition of our word sanguinolency, as most folks would associate “bloodshed” with battlefield carnage, or say, a mafioso hitjob. Here, I’ve resurrected Bram Stoker’s Dracula, having just drawn blood from his comely victim. As the story goes, Dracula’s bloodlust wasn’t only an addiction, but more pointedly, a deep-rooted compulsion... a life-sustaining imperative. “I vant to drink your blood!”.

Walken's Enunciatory Bent
I’ve imagined this scenario of actor Christopher Walken playing Prince Hamlet, whilst Froggy takes on the role of his ill-fated damsel, Ophelia. Walken is renowned for his halting speech, both on and off stage. Perhaps fellow thespian William Shatner (aka Star Trek’s Captain Kirk) has an equally characteristic halting speech pattern. That idiosyncrasy, however, seems not to have hampered their careers.

Alex McCrae, Van Nuys, California

Pangraph (contains all words from this week)

We will long ponder how someone displaying extreme hypogeusia (in the metaphorical sense) was able to seduce millions just with autokinesy, sanguinolency, an inflammatory enunciatory approach, and a rejection of coequality with ... well, anyone (see here).
-Ray Wiss, Greater Sudbury, Canada (portray vianet.ca)

This week’s theme: Euryvocalic words
1. autokinesy
2. hypogeusia
3. sanguinolency
4. coequality
5. enunciatory
= 1. you choose your own vitality
2. taste disease
3. suck gore like lychee wine (queasy much?)
4. parity
5. announcing
This week’s theme: Euryvocalic words
1. autokinesy
2. hypogeusia
3. sanguinolency
4. coequality
5. enunciatory
= 1. you US egoists use energy which is autocentric
2. no taste
3. vampirical
4. okey dokey, equally
5. I announce why
-Dharam Khalsa, Burlington, North Carolina (dharamkk2 gmail.com) -Julian Lofts, Auckland, New Zealand (jalofts xtra.co.nz)

Make your own anagrams and animations.


When her snacks disappear with no trace,
he offers, “Perhaps it’s a case
of one more autokinesy
in this vicinity.
Seems it’s become commonplace!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

“Look alive, men, for that’s a white fin I see;
Our harpoons don’t possess autokinesy!”
Shouted Ahab. “That whale
Ye must go and impale,
For he shan’t be found under ye Christmas tree!”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Romance has become a great waste?
For love you have lost all your taste?
This might just be news to ya
It’s just hypogeusia
And sex might just help. Don’t be chaste!
-Rudy Landesman, New York, New York (ydur36 hotmail.com)

I had Covid-19 in the spring;
I had hoped ‘twas the virus’s last fling,
But hypogeusia neared,
Then my mom stirred and seared;
My good fortune -- I didn’t taste a thing!
-Sondra Landin, New York, New York (sunnytravel att.net)

Invited to wine-tasting, dad
replies to his son, “Sorry, lad.
I hate to refuse ya,
but my hypogeusia
won’t let me tell good stuff from bad!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

Her tastebuds have gone on the blink!
This fate is much worse than you think.
Hypogeusia’s bad,
And life is quite sad
When meals every day simply stink.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

You can’t do the things that amuse ya,
And you might even get hypogeusia.
No joy can be found
With this virus around;
If you win an election, Trump sues ya.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

The Proud Boys, into sanguinolency,
have no truck with truth -- authenticity.
They shout a racist rebel yell
waving their rebel flags as well,
while Big Liar denies complicity!
-Mariana Warner, Asheville, North Carolina (marianaw6002 gmail.com)

Accused of sanguinolency,
he denies it, protesting, “Who, me?”
Says the sweet ingenue,
“If not, why do you
always carry that bare snickersnee?”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

Sanguinolency would explain
His thrilling to bloodshed and pain.
Some people find glory
In anything gory,
But I would just call him insane.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

If you want a fake high school equivalency,
At Trump U. you can study sanguinolency.
They’ll instruct you to riot
When things get too quiet,
And teach you the dangers of literacy.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

The two were well-matched, he and she.
But after her last shopping spree,
“You’ve emptied my wallet!” he
cried. “Coequality
just isn’t working for me!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

Humanity will one day achieve
No one looking to just receive.
Making history
Is what we should strive to believe.
-Lois Mowat, Orinda, California (lmowat1810 gmail.com)

Coequality’s now just a dream;
There are haves and have-nots, it would seem.
A lucky few thrive,
While some can’t survive --
There are people at either extreme.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

After years of R&D germane,
The supplier could at last attain
Trade’s requisite quality;
But this coequality
was brief-- standards soon moved to the next plane.
-Shyamal Mukherji, Mumbai, India (mukherjis hotmail.com)

The world sure has changed since I’m here
In ways well intended -- sincere.
Coequality reigns!
And no woman complains!
But some men? “Where’s my shot and my beer?”
-Bindy Bitterman, Chicago, Illinois (bindy eurekaevanston.com)

How sublime would the world, golly, be,
If people lived in coequality.
When we all live as one,
A new era’s begun,
Filled with wisdom, sweet love, and jollity.
-Joan Perrin, Port Jefferson Station, New York (perrinjoan aol.com)

“As part of the Commonwealth polity,”
Said the claimant, “we want coequality.
In Winnie the Pooh,
You let Kanga and Roo
Into England, so why not a wallaby?”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Your great speeches, you say, get no glory
With your problems enunciatory.
Put your worries to bed.
Use your email instead,
Simply make them epistolatory.
-Rudy Landesman, New York, New York (ydur36 hotmail.com)

His enunciatory brash style
Did indeed some naïve folks beguile.
He had that great need
For people to heed
What he said, so he lied with a smile.
-Sondra Landin, New York, New York (sunnytravel att.net)

Says teacher, enunciatory,
“Please stand for the pledge to Old Glory!”
One kid rolls his eyes.
She catches him, cries,
“You do that again, you’ll be sorry!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

With a manner enunciatory
The bold actor spewed lines laudatory.
When he took to the stage,
He was the latest rage,
His fans were so anticipatory.
-Judith Marks-White, Westport, Connecticut (joodthmw gmail.com)

I heard the famed senator speak.
His patterns of speech were unique.
He spoke in a mumble,
And that is my humble
Enunciatory critique.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

Though at first he just grunts in the story,
He soon turns enunciatory.
You win, Mary Shelley!
My legs are like jelly;
My nights are hallucinatory.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)


Anyone looking at my autokinesy I’m due for a new car!
-Lois Mowat, Orinda, California (lmowat1810 gmail.com)

In the back seat of an autokinesy continued the research for his landmark work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Said the doctor, “Now drop your drawers and bend over while I with this hypogeusia.”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Another absentee knight and I ain’t got nobody,” sanguinolency when he left to search for the Holy Grail.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

The goal of the company specializing in nearly identical domesticated animals was Pet-coequality.
-Jim Ertner, Greensboro, North Carolina (jde31459 gmail.com)

“Our music is as good as any!” said the Bee Gees. “We demand dis-coequality!”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

When the Conservative MP remarked on finding the convent empty during the pandemic, the Mother Superior replied, “We’re on Zoom now! We’re enunciatory!”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

From: Alex McCrae (ajmccrae277 gmail.com)
Subject: Andrew Cuomo

Andrew Cuomo: Sexual Harasser or Huggy Bear?
Innocent until proven guilty? New York governor Andrew Cuomo is embroiled in two scandals... his lowballing of the early reports on state’s nursing-home Covid fatality numbers and sexual harassment accusations from several female aides. In his defence, Cuomo has apologized for what he deemed “misunderstandings”, arguing that it’s in his Italian-American character to greet others with hugs and kisses.

Alex McCrae, Van Nuys, California

Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth. -Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate (14 Mar 1879-1955)

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