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Sep 8, 2019
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AWADmail Issue 897

A Compendium of Feedback on the Words in A.Word.A.Day and Other Tidbits about Words and Language

Sponsor’s Message: We’ve finally become our own worst nightmare: a sell out. Large anonymous corporation gets wind of One Up! -- The Wicked/Smart Word Game and wants to license it worldwide. We say sure, why not? Creativity, principles, artistic integrity, success on our own terms? Right out the window at the first sign of cash we’re happy to say. Seriously, we’re offering all AWADers, including Email of the Week winner, Mary-Alice Boulter (see below), 50% OFF our Special Dark Edition, while supplies last. Once this limited and lovely version of our best-selling cutthroat IQ contest is gone, it’s gone forever. So, smarten up (on the cheap) RIGHT AWAY >

From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
Subject: Interesting stories from the Net

A Breakthrough for AI Technology: Passing an 8th-Grade Science Test
The New York Times

Leprechaun “Is Not a Native Irish Word” New Dictionary Reveals

From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
Subject: Coined words

Here’s a selection of coined words sent by readers. Thanks so much for sharing your coinages even if we couldn’t include all of them here!

The other day I met an old friend whom I hadn’t seen for two years and she said: My goodness you have de-aged! Meaning I look younger than I did earlier. That is such a flattering word it should be taken up in the English language.
-Agnes Stieda, Victoria, Canada (agnesvstieda gmail.com)

Nose wax: It was coined by one of my daughters (Charlotte) when she was very young. Probably don’t need a definition of this one, derived from ear wax. Boylie: As in “I think pink is girlie, I like boylie things.” (another daughter, Jemma)
-Graeme Ramsay, Auckland, New Zealand (support jpartner.co.nz)

To unvite: I regularly got unvited to my mother’s home -- she would invite me and my husband and children for a holiday, but then unvite us if she got an invitation to go somewhere.
-Julye Berry, Northbrook, Illinois (e1phaba hotmail.com)

Coldostrum: the cold water that comes out of the shower head before the hot comes.
-Elizabeth Block, Toronto, Canada (elizabethblock netzero.net)

Pythagorrhea: Out of control corner cutting. This one came to me viewing a snow covered parking lot where the tire tracks revealed that hardly anyone was using the designated lanes, but cutting diagonally across the parking spaces; but it pops everywhere.
-Matthew Mattingly, Amherst, Massachusetts (mdmattin1 gmail.com)

Godincidence: No coincidence, but cause by God.
-Donald Drysdale, Siguatepeque, Honduras (donald.d.drysdale gmail.com)

Quinstruction: An instruction thinly disguised as a question and to be able to detect this is important for the sake of a happy marriage! For example, “Is that the doorbell?” (Please open the front door), “Does the dog look restless to you?” (Please walk the dog), etc.
-Roger Schofield, Aberdeen, UK (dodge.27 icloud.com)

I recently coined the word Brexidiot to describe a new political class in the UK -- those who unthinkingly and loyally support Brexit, who remain impervious to evidence, unconcerned with the real implications, and who immediately call those who disagree “traitors” and “enemies of the people”. I’ve been pleased to see the word in wider use, but I wish I’d never had cause to think it up.
-Oscar Franklin, London, UK (oscar.franklin actionaid.org)

Chooseday for election day in the United States, where it’s always on a Tuesday.
-David Policansky, Nantucket, Massachusetts (davidpolicansky gmail.com)

When I was a teenager, English being my second language, I was looking for the word “suspicious” but all I could remember was “susp”, so I inadvertently coined “suspectful” and started using it. It never elicited a comment until many years later and I was extremely surprised, even shocked, when a smiling friend said that he would put the word in his “Dom’s Dictionary”, that is, because it didn’t exist.
-Dominique Mellinger, Gorze, France (dominiquemellinger yahoo.co.uk)

Twiddling one’s thumbs doesn’t sound very grand so I coined vertopollexitation from Latin vertere, to turn and pollex, the thumb.
-Galen Ives, Sheffield, UK (galen.ives priority-research.com)

Boris: To Boris a dog is to take its collar off. Thus Kolarov. A Russian sounding name, ie Boris Kolarov. Thence to Boris. “Has the dog been Borissed?”
-Jac Trudi, Adelaide, Australia (jac.d48 bigpond.com)

I have coined utilitree which is a tree trimmed to accommodate power lines. They often have a U shape.
-Herbert W. Kelly, Huntley, Illinois (hwk123 comcast.net)

Spencer Falls
Spencer Falls
Photo: Beth Tuttle
Snaux: Artificial snow used in crafting and decorative displays. A combination of faux + snow.
I certainly use a lot of snaux in my annual elfish (Elf B) assistance with The Greatest Dickens Christmas Village In The Universe, a creative display project I’ve worked on with a friend, in Washington DC. The picture is just one small corner of Spencer Falls. Backdrop art by Annie Compton.
-Beth Tuttle, St. Louis, Missouri (macbef swbell.net)

Sadly, I don’t have him any more, but for almost eight years we had a son-in-sin, and we were in-sins to our daughter’s boy friend. They lived together without being married which we did not mind at all, but I liked the old fashioned idea of living in sin that made us come up with this word.
-Christl Mageras, White Plains, New York (cmageras gmail.com)

I am a touring country, blues, and folk musician and I met my partner, Sue, at the library where she worked for nine years. I say that I don’t really need to go to Google because I can go to Soogle. -Billy Kemp, Nashville, Tennessee (lifesaverbridge gmail.com)

Stockenfreude: That satisfied, smug feeling you get when you sell a stock and its price falls precipitously right after you’ve gotten out.
-Michael Shpizner, San Francisco, California (mjshpiz gmail.com)

Fairly early in our marriage my wife Nanette and I coined the word perceptuous, as an ironic form of the word perceptive. “I see you figured out what we are having for dinner tonight. How perceptuous of you.”
-Fran McHugh, Sun City West, Arizona (mcqz icloud.com)

Stuccat: Stuck with a cat on my lap (Particularly used when one has a cat who doesn’t grant such favours lightly).
Usage: Sorry I can’t help with the shopping (washing, table, etc.). I’m stuccat.
Family word, I think coined by our elder daughter, Susannah.
-Jenny Gill, Cape Town, South Africa (jennygill1 gmail.com)

Trimp: a very large self-aggrandizing person who is actually an ignorant imp, who trips up himself whenever he speaks his outrageous lies.
-Gloria Bertonis, Levittown, Pennsylvania (stoneagedivas comcast.net)

My husband and I are gleefully curious about why things are and how they work. When we’re at the edge of our knowledge and experience, or someone asks us a how/why question that stumps us, one of us says it’s tobefoe, (i.e., to be found out). This reminds us all not to over-speculate. We work on tobefoes the way crossword puzzlers mull over difficult clues, and it’s always satisfying to resolve them, even years later. We coined this decades ago, but I think tobefoe is especially useful in an era where we so badly need to value well-supported statements over baseless assertions.
-Phyllis Morrow, Fairbanks, Alaska (pmorrow alaska.edu)

Years ago, when I was a young teacher, students in my 9th grade English class were working on writing. One girl in the front row raised her hand and asked, “Mr. Agor, how do you spell garful?”
I didn’t want to appear ignorant, but I reluctantly had to confess:
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word before.”
“I know,” she said. “I just made it up. How do you spell it?”
-Stewart Agor, Webster, New York (sbagor rochester.rr.com)

When my daughter was a child, she would refer to something that had happened before as yestertime.
-Ida Reichardt, Winnipeg, Canada (idare383 gmail.com)

Gatheration: A family gathering of many generations.
I said this word to my family when I was a child. So this word is about 48 years old.
-Jean De Rego, Vancouver, Washington (jad4pots yahoo.com)

Incalculacy: Without any understanding of calculus. Inspired by an extremely well-written book many years ago (1998) by John Allen Paulos.
-Bob Rietz, Asheville, North Carolina (dbactuary hotmail.com)

To height: to measure someone’s height.
In my work, I often measure clients for their height and weight. I typically tell the client to take off their shoes and we’ll get them heighted and weighed.
-Doug Frith, Pickering, Canada (dougfrith rogers.com)

I have been a professional book editor for some thirty years. When I came across an error in a manuscript that involved a typographical error, wrong word choice, incorrect juxtaposition, purple prose, or other mistake that gave me a chuckle or illustrated a point, I saved it and called it a manuslip. When I wrote Write In Style, traditionally published in 2004 and updated, expanded, and released as a self-published book in 2015, I included many manuslips to lighten the material, make a point, and give readers a chuckle. I still report manuslips in my monthly newsletter for writers, The Writers Network News.
manuslip: A slip in grammar, punctuation, or other error in a manuscript that results in humor; a manuscript blooper.
-Bobbie Christmas, Woodstock, Georgia (bzebra aol.com)

Levality: The quality of being level.
“Levalness” just doesn’t sound right. I coined it while helping my brother build his log cabin back in the mid 80s. Usage: Check the levality of that last beam we placed; it looks a bit askew.
-Dan Folmar, West Chester, Pennsylvania (djfolmar yahoo.com)

I coined the word unknowance as a somewhat less derogatory synonym for ignorance, a blend of ignorance and unknowing. One could be highly educated and generally very astute, yet would be offended by being called ignorant for being unaware of certain knowledge. For example, “He was thrown into a situation where his unknowance gave him no chance for success.” I was somewhat precocious as a child. Later though, as an adult, I lapsed into a long and comfortable state of cociousness. Thankfully, this lasted for most of college teaching career. Now that I’ve retired, and finally have the time and urge to work on my memoir, I’m increasingly distressed by my definite lack of postcociousness.
-Russell Lott, Hattiesburg, Mississippi (russellwlott comcast.net)

Washdog: A variant of the word watchdog, a washdog is an organization that claims to be independent and produce reliable results, when the truth is that the results can be relied on only to benefit whoever is paying the bills. An example from recent history is the credit rating agencies who gave high quality ratings to junk mortgage bonds. They usually have high-minded sounding names and lots of people with lots of letters after their name on staff.
-Jay Florey, Olympia, Washington (jfflorey integra.net)

I’ve used the term birthmas present to describe a single gift for someone whose birthday falls on or very near Christmas. My birthday is in June at the opposite end of the calendar but I’ve always held the view that there are two events deserving of a gift for the unfortunate person whose birthday falls on December 24 or 25.
-Russell Rolfe, Santa Cruz, California (rrolfe pacbell.net)

Friends and I were being seated for dinner and as we walked through the restaurant, each of us looked with interest at what others were eating. My Australian friend commented, “There really should be a word for what we’re doing.” After a few minutes of brainstorming, he came up with cuisinosity, which seemed perfect!
-Lisa Leff, Valley Forge, Pennsylvania (lsgleff aol.com)

Photo: Alistair Fraser
In 1994, I wrote a scientific paper,
The Sylvanshine: retroreflection in dew-covered trees. Applied Optics., 33, 21, 4539-4547,
which used a word I had just coined for an obscure natural optical phenomenon. The paper showed and explained how a very few species of dew-covered trees in the summer could appear in retroreflection as if snow-covered in the winter moonlight. It is a beautiful sight.
In 1994, the American Dialect Society chose sylvanshine as the most beautiful word of the year -- thus, neatly complimenting the beauty of the phenomenon. (Apparently, this was the only time the Dialect Society had designated a beautiful word of the year.)
Since then, the word has crept into some dictionaries and Wikipedia. Strangely, it also was adopted as the name of a rock band and a racehorse. This has been an unexpected result for a technical term coined for an obscure optical phenomenon, particularly as the word lacks societal implications and so cannot be used to comment on human behaviour.
-Alistair Fraser, Kootenay Lake, Canada (alistair fraser.cc)

Facho: I did not coin this, Alice Walker did; I read this in Harper’s years ago. It describes a woman who outruns, outswims her male counterparts and ends with something like “In the morning, she turned the bacon with her fingers.” Deliciously funny.
-Jennifer Barber, Duncan, Canada (jbarber8 telus.net)

From: Douglas Heidenreich (douglas.heidenreich mitchellhamline.edu)
Subject: Unbirthday

Having been born in a leap-year on February 29, 1932, I have had many years in which every day was an unbirthday. Every four years, however, I have a real birthday. I am hoping to have at least one more real birthday in 2020 before I drop off the twig.

Douglas Heidenreich, St. Paul, Minnesota

From: Christine Brundige (christinamex att.net)
Subject: unbirthday

I’m so happy to see unbirthday as your AWAD! When I was ten and taking dance lessons from the Izette sisters, in Wheatridge, Colorado, we performed the song and dance numbers from Alice in Wonderland. Our group got to perform “A Very Merry Unbirthday” in our homemade red tutu costumes. From that day on, my sweet uncle and I would rush to say “Happy Unbirthday” whenever we saw each other at family gatherings. We kept it up until he passed away a few years ago.

Christine Brundige, Gainesville, Florida

From: Stephen L. Kirkpatrick (stevekirkp comcast.net)
Subject: unbirthday

I was at Disneyland on my birthday 20 years ago, and the tune played at the spinning cups was A Very Merry Unbirthday to Me. I told my family I couldn’t truthfully sing along.

Steve Kirkpatrick, Olympia, Washington

Email of the Week brought to you by One Up! -- Play mind games on the cheap NOW >

From: Mary-Alice Boulter (critterperson gmail.com)
Subject: Unbirthday gift

Others have mentioned the practice of giving an unbirthday gift to a second grandchild when it’s the sibling’s birthday. I’ve done that for years, but often carry it one step beyond: a Very Merry Unbirthday Gift is one given when you darn well feel like it and of course the recipient deserves it. It’s a grandmother’s privilege, you know.

Mary-Alice Boulter, Port Angeles, Washington

From: Alan Davis (adavis54 gmail.com)
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--runcible

Here is another cartoon about the runcible/spork.

Alan Davis, Maitland, Florida

From: Patrick Paternott (patrick magicsoils.com.au)
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--runcible

Here in Australia, we call it a splade/splayd, which is a combination of fork, spoon, and knife ... not quite runcible.

Patrick N. Paternott, Donvale, Australia

From: tao (kreelah gmail.com)
Subject: spork

Many many years ago, somewhere back in the early ’80s. It was my birthday party (or maybe my brother’s), and our parents got some colorful disposable paper dishes, together with matching paper cups and paper napkins. This was a complete novelty at the time over here. Along with this, came an awkward set of small red plastic utensils. They were the strangest things we’d ever seen. Our parents told us they were called garfolheres (garfolher for singular), half garfo (fork), half colher (spoon).

tao, Setúbal, Portugal

From: Richard S. Russell (RichardSRussell tds.net)
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--runcible

In the recent Pixar release Toy Story 4, the newest toy is named Forky (video, 3 min.), even tho he’s clearly been fashioned from a spork. This leads to an identity crisis which is kind of a running gag in the film.

Richard S. Russell, Madison, Wisconsin

From: Janette Rosenbaum (janette.rosenbaum 350madison.org)
Subject: When cutlery procreates

You wrote: If a spoon and a fork mate to give birth to a runcible or spork, what happens when other pieces of cutlery get together?

There is a wonderful short story by Isaac Bashevis Singer, called Shrewd Todie and Lyzer the Miser (12 min.). It begins with a peasant persuading his rich but stingy lord to loan him a tablespoon. When the peasant returns the tablespoon, he also gives Lyzer a teaspoon. “Good news!” Todie announces. “Your spoon was pregnant, and it gave birth!”

The story doesn’t tell us who the father was. But it ends with Todie utterly fleecing Lyzer, who realizes he can’t blame this turn of events on anything other than his own credulousness.

Janette Rosenbaum, Grand Rapids, Michigan

From: Duncan Hawthorne (hawthorneduncan gmail.com)
Subject: A Thought for Today

Form follows function. -Louis Sullivan, architect (3 Sep 1856-1924)

What a strange dictionary he must have had!

Duncan Hawthorne, Barcelona, Spain

From: Ellen Kirk (ellenkirk mindspring.com)
Subject: Re: A.Word.A.Day--esemplastic

The highly non-esemplastic current government.

Ellen Kirk, Boulder, Colorado

From: Steven A. Ludsin (ludsin gmail.com)
Subject: Gonzo

Coined by Bill Cardoso, journalist and author, in 1971.

I was pleased to see that gonzo was coined by Bill Cardoso. I had the pleasure of meeting Bill many summers ago at the bar at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor, New York. The atmosphere was very convivial and I told Bill that the drinks we were having should be called apres la plage shooters. The time was after the beach and the drinks were known as shooters since that is what my colleagues at Salomon Brothers, an investment bank, would call them. Bill loved that phrase and I guess he thought it was gonzo. I have become a prolific letter to the editor writer with 375 letters published in major publications and half in The New York Times. Bill Cardoso had a way with words that inspired me.

Steven A. Ludsin, East Hampton, New York

From: Alex McCrae (ajmccrae277 gmail.com)
Subject: runcible and gonzo

Here, I’ve set up a kind of cutlery bragging rights scenario... a war of words, pitting a boastfully animated “runcible”, versus a decidedly defensive spork*.Their dialogue may sound familiar in that it’s drawn from the opening lyric-line of the Irving Berlin tune, “Anything You Can Do”, from the 1946 musical, Annie Get Your Gun, based on the markswoman, Annie Oakley. I’ve injected my Froggy character guised in the signature cowgirl garb of Annie Oakley (aka Annie Croakley), who’s serving as a kind of interlocutor. *Technically, a “runcible” and a “spork” are functionally the same. And yet I thought, in this case, I’d differentiate the “spork”, sporting two functional “ends” whereas most runcibles appear to have a handle with a single dual-purpose head, incorporating both the concave scoop of a spoon and the four-tined end of a typical fork. Too much information? Ha!

Prompted by the “Usage” quote for our word “gonzo” referencing Jimi Hendrix’s “gonzo rendition of The Star Spangled Banner”, I’ve envisioned this coupling of two of the greatest stylistically eccentric guitarists ever, Jimi Hendrix and The Who’s Pete Townsend. Both dazzled audiences at the June 16-18th, 1967, Monterey International Pop Festival, which many pop-culture gurus agree, kicked off the magical Summer of Love. Townsend and his “Who” bandmates took to the stage well before Hendrix’s finale performance, allegedly with the intent of one-upping Hendrix in the bizarro on-stage histrionics department... namely Townsend’s set-ending, gonzo guitar smashing rampage. (Here, I’ve clearly conflated their performances.) Yet not to be outdone, Hendrix closed the festival with his funky rendition of the classic, “Wild Thing”, climaxing in setting his electric guitar ablaze, kneeling before his enflamed “axe” like some entranced shaman invoking the music gods. Then he grabbed his still smoldering guitar and in Pete Townsend-like fashion proceeded to smash his instrument to smithereens in seven blows. Hmm... hard to say who eclipsed the gonzo quotient that day... Hendrix or Townsend? Let’s just call it a wash.

Alex McCrae, Van Nuys, California

From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
Subject: Anagrams of this week’s words

1. unbirthday
2. runcible
3. chirality
4. esemplastic
5. gonzo
= 1. blah day
2. picnic utensil
3. shorter limb
4. unite
5. go crazy
-Dharam Khalsa, Burlington, North Carolina (dharamkk2 gmail.com)

From: Anu Garg (words at wordsmith.org)
Subject: Limericks

Let us celebrate Bindy’s unbirthdays --
Almost all of a year’s no-real-worth days ...
She’s no genius, it’s true
But she loves to laugh! You
might declare them to be Bindy’s mirth days!
-Bindy Bitterman, Chicago, Illinois (bindy eurekaevanston.com)

Another unbirthday for me!
(Already this week I’ve had three.)
A fuss we will make
Complete with some cake;
I need an excuse for some glee.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

If this is your day, celebrate!
If not, there’s no reason to wait.
With exuberant mirth, say,
“A super unbirthday
to me! May it be truly great!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

It’s such a crazy thing to say
That it is someone’s unbirthday.
Do you buy something
That you wrap and bring?
A sense of humor gone astray.
-Lois Mowat, Orinda, California (lmowat1810 gmail.com)

Lewis Carroll, with verse light and gay,
Coined for us that great word: unbirthday.
So, with daily elation,
Such a grand celebration,
Can be ours ... in a weird sort of way.
-Judith Marks-White, Westport, Connecticut (joodthmw gmail.com)

Every morning to fête my unbirthdays,
There’s a creature who onto my turf strays.
“Hee haw! Time to wake!
Let’s have ice cream and cake!”
At my window the donkey with mirth brays.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Says rater, not sure what to make
of the product, “Well, here is my take
on this trendy new runcible:
Used more than once, it’ll
bend, and too readily break!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

A runcible spoon and a knife
United as husband and wife.
Their offspring were weird,
And just as they feared
Unusable all through their life.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

Can this be a spork that I see
Being used to add sugar to tea?
Or a spook or a forn
Or a fook or a sporn
Or a runcible? Surely beats me!
-Gordon Tully, Charlottesville, Virginia (gordon.tully gmail.com)

Language lives: it must change, it must grow.
We who love it accept this, although
adjective into noun
brought a sigh, brought a frown.
Runcible into spork? A low blow.
-Zelda Dvoretzky, Haifa, Israel (zeldahaifa gmail.com)

With a look of pure bliss in his eyes
He ordered two burgers with fries
With his runcible near
His intention was clear
As he guzzled with no compromise.
-Gayle Tremblay, Saint John, Canada (gayletremblay hotmail.com)

The accountant preferred his spoons runcible;
Said he, “They’re efficient and functional.
For soup or spaghetti
Or apple brown betty,
They’re perfect, though not tax-deductible.”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Sighs dance partner, “Sorry, my sweet,
in this contest we cannot compete.
You’ve a slight abnormality
known as chirality.
Seems you possess two left feet!”
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

I’m singing “Chirality Blues”,
Because I have mixed up my shoes.
My stupid mistake
Means now I will ache --
My right and my left I confuse.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

When confronted by any chirality
poor Jerome’s OCD personality
into panic mode slipped.
He wasn’t equipped
for life’s strange, asymmetric reality.
-Zelda Dvoretzky, Haifa, Israel (zeldahaifa gmail.com)

His facial chirality’s clear
When he speaks with his usual sneer.
With each angry distortion
His glaring contortion
Stands out with a testy veneer.
-Gayle Tremblay, Saint John, Canada (gayletremblay hotmail.com)

When I gaze in my mirror, oh gee!
There’s chirality there, plain to see.
“Who’s that wrinkled, old dame,
I don’t know her name?
I just know she does not look like me!”
-Joan Perrin, Port Jefferson Station, New York (perrinjoan aol.com)

My YouTubes achieve great virality,
For my kitty exhibits chirality.
The whole world wants to view
Her green eye with her blue,
Although mice still disdain her carnality.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

He thought up his theories fantastic
All thanks to his skills esemplastic.
This genius revealed
The unified field,
Which earned him some prizes scholastic.
-Marion Wolf, Bergenfield, New Jersey (marionewolf yahoo.com)

From deep in a mind esemplastic
Come conspiracy theories fantastic.
“Shouts of ‘Hordes at the gate!’
And ‘Expose the Deep State!’”
Donald notes, “Make my crowds orgiastic.”
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

Of blue hair she’s not really fond, so
she’s thinking of bleaching hers blonde. Though
upon second thought,
just maybe she ought
to color it purple. She’s gonzo!
-Anne Thomas, Sedona, Arizona (antom earthlink.net)

A most feisty young Chef named Alonzo,
Had a penchant for tasty garbanzo.
When it came to this bean,
His stir-fry was obscene,
Gastronomically known as pure gonzo.
-Judith Marks-White, Westport, Connecticut (joodthmw gmail.com)

The voting is over, the main man has won;
We watch, and we listen, it’s part of the fun;
He’ll show his own style,
He may rile, and show guile --
Our gonzo, The Donald, is surely a One.
-Marcia Sinclair, Newmarket, Canada (marciasinclair rogers.com)

We’re seeing an increase dramatic
in world leaders idiosyncratic.
What factors could spawn so
much hubris, this gonzo
behavior bodes outcomes traumatic.
-Zelda Dvoretzky, Haifa, Israel (zeldahaifa gmail.com)

With gonzo behavior quite strange,
He pulled out a Sharpie to change
A huge hurricane’s path
With his usual wrath;
But the weather he can’t rearrange.
-Gayle Tremblay, Saint John, Canada (gayletremblay hotmail.com)

You have to admit that it’s gonzo
To call a chick pea a garbanzo.
“Either way they’re too small
To be hit like a ball,”
Says the rookie phenom Pete Alonso.
-Steve Benko, New York, New York (stevebenko1 gmail.com)

From: Phil Graham (pgraham1946 cox.net)
Subject: As pun material, these words were uncoined to me

The navy unbirthday new ship, The USS Tulsa, this past February.

Sign on fence: Don’t enter pasture if you can’t out-runcible.

The guide at the LBJ Ranch drawled, “This here’s the chirality kep’ his horses in.”

A bright person will win the trivia marathon. I can’t see esemplastic very long.

Sorry, honey. You were gonzo I dated someone normal.

Phil Graham, Tulsa, Oklahoma

If more politicians in this country were thinking about the next generation instead of the next election, it might be better for the United States and the world. -Claude Pepper, senator and representative (8 Sep 1900-1989)

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