Ooooo, I don't know what to say!

I'm so shocked and surprised that the academy chose little old meeeee.

I mean, I didn't expect this honour! I'd just like to say "thanks" to the college and everyone who contributed behind me, despite the extra weight the knives have added.

I have a little speech prepared earlier on my behalf by Haile Berry, if you all have half an hour. And I'm hiring Haile herself to cry for me. She's good enough for the entire South American continent, not just that piddling little Argentina

I'm sorry that the last word of the 100,000th post has shocked and dismayed the members of the Academie AWADais but, as I always say, if it's good enough for Toyota NZ's advertising department it's good enough for the whole world.

I remember saying my first word at the tender age of 1 year, 3 months, 15 days and 4 hou ... gerroff you mad bastard! Oh, all right then.

And in conclusion, I'd like to thank my mum for contacting the board via ouija board. I find it very refreshing to have all of my suspicions about what people do in the hereafter confirmed so conclusively. Harping on a little, like. She was bipolar in real life, but now she's truly one-dimensional. That's surely got to be an improvement, doesn't it?

- Pfranz