I loathe a great many euphemisms, partly because they are often silly and partly because they are closely linked with class in the UK, with the none euphemistic, straight forward and honest terms being associated with the working classes. (ie Loo; toilet; shithouse). Since the none euphemistic terms are usually germanic and the euphemisms french it can be seen this class differentiation goes book to the Norman conquest.
However if you are compelled to use euphemisms it is important to do so with some wit.
By the way, where I live, in Birmingham UK, all words are pronounced with equal emphasis on all syllables!