well, I try to use other words because I'm trying to be nice. and I'll continue to teach my children thusly.

But that's one of the points here, eta...you're already nice, so you don't have to try to be nice. You're allowing others to paint you as unnice until you prove, or to make you prove, your nicety...that's not fair to you, or anybody. It's almost like the Catholic concept of Original Sin...which I'm well-familiar with.