There is that other nagging question: If you know that a word or phrase is going to be offensive, however undeservedly, to a large group of people, and there is another term that can be used just as easily, is it right to continue using the offensive term?

I think, to a large group of people, is the key here, or obvious oversight (as when, knowing there are many women firefighters you use the exclusionary firemen...however, when talking about a male or a small group of males who are firefighters, then fireman or "men" is still okay as an option) is the key phrase here. Obviously the "n" word is offensive, as is "Dago" for Italians, "Polack" for Poles, "Mick" for the Irish, "Limey" for the English, "Hunky" for Hungarians (although, being of Hungarian descent, I happen to think Hunky's pretty cool, actually ), etc. [though, none of the ethnic friends I've had over the years seemed to mind when these epithets were employed jokingly with each other in private...not including the "n" word, of course] And mulyak for Slovaks and Slav immigrants in general...this, curiously enough, was first employed by the first Carpatho-Russian/Slovak immigrants once they were established and doing well to disparage and look down upon the "fresh-off-the-boaters". I think the Italians had a similar vindictive, mullein. In our family it's the worst heavy artillery you can roll out in a squabble, to call somebody that, mulyak...especially the older generations.

But pruning pieces of words, and generic pronouns, and digging up new nuances of meaning to impart to long-standing terms to render them taboo, because small segments of certain groups demand it, seems silly and a bit self-defeating. A diehard feminist friend of mine, a practicing Wiccan and folk musician, who's into The Goddess and the fairy culture, etc., finally announced at a performance one night that she was no longer bothering to use the sexist changes to words as she had been for years, because, as she explained, one day she found herself wanting to take the "king" out of kingdom, and decided, then and there, that she, and others, were really going off the wall about all this, and that there were far better ways to work for the empowerment of women than by changing all these little pieces and nuances of words. And that feeling threatened by these words was not affirming her womanhood. Amen.