I was clearing out my mailbox when I found this...
(considering that this is quite an old e-mail and that this kind of e-mail tends to go around everyone on the planet at some point, it may have been posted on this site in some form before, but I didn't get round to checking)The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
4) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
5) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
6) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
7) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
8) Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Any more to add?
