how bout a "Bad Joyce Contest"

Canajun comedian Lorne Elliott has a funny set piece about languages, and at one point he's talking about someone from Shediac (very mixed English/French part of Canada) and he relates this story:

"I was talking to someone from Shediac and he didn't know the English name for woodpecker - fair enough - he said, 'Hey, what you call dat funny red bird goes tak-tak-tak smash his face all day gainst da log?' "

after the laughter subsides Lorne adds,

"James Joyce could not have written that sentence...."

Eh, maybe you had to be there....'tis pretty damn funny to hear it, though!

If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side.