In'nards Insectivora: shrew haggis; mole haggis; hedgehog haggis; anteater haggis

Opiate Optimist: a stoned idealist

Abscond Accountability: Arthur Andersens' business motto; or the 5th Amendment for ENRON executives.

Bacchus Bath: bathing in wine! (what else!?)

--The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce