Anu, I am sorry, but I cannot do as I said I would, and stay here and post as though nothing has happened. Maybe in the future, but not now. I'm still delighted to get PM's, but I simply cannot read posts, let alone make one. It hurts too much. I tried.
Keiva, you have managed to completely disrupt something that had been functioning not perfectly, but over-all quite satisfactorily, for two years. And I think that's a good record. I have virtually no experience with chat rooms or other bulletin boards, but many people who have that experience commented in the past what an unusual and wonderful place this was. I certainly agreed that it was wonderful--in ways that I had not even dreamed of. The things I learned, and the laughter, closeness and love I got to share here were just...magical.
You have won. You, your way, and your people may make it a better place than it was; I don't know. What I do know is the following: my tears are dripping off my chin as I'm writing this. I am sad, yes, that so many of the people I loved are no longer here, but just so there is no misunderstanding: you, Keiva, alone, have caused me enough personal agony that I simply cannot bear seeing a post you have made--it brings too many memories back. Although no one has actually died, I nonetheless am bereaved, as my fresh flood of tears is now attesting. My ability to cope with things in general has dropped drastically. I gave you vast amounts of my concentration, my emotional energy, and yes, my love. I gave them freely; but now I have almost nothing left. Due entirely and solely to you. Not blaming--I said I gave them freely; just stating the fact. It wasn't enough. I am beaten down to the ground. I hope for Anu's sake that his board can become for others what it used to be for me. But when I see a post by you, I have to leave. I just have to.