Ladies and gentlemen...
The MAN SONG...

(he's the man, he's the man)

I don't take no crap from anyobody else...
but you...
I wear the pants around here...
when I'm finished with your laundry...
Cause I'm a guy you don't wanna fight,
When I say "jump" you say...
Yeah, right.
I'm the man of this house...
until you get home...

(he's the man, he's the man)

What I say goes around here...
right out the window...
And I don't wanna hear a lot of whining...
so I'll shut up...
The sooner you'll learn who's boss around here, the sooner...
you can give me my orders dear...
Cause I'm head-honcho around here...
but it's all in my head...

(he's the man, he's the man)

And I can have sex anytime...
that you want...
Cause I'm a man who has needs...
but they’re not that important...
But don't expect any flowers from me,
Cause if I'm not mistaken...
you prefer jewelry...
I'm the king of my castle...
when you're not around...

(he's the man, he's the man)

And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I wanna...
get in trouble...
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready...
to sleep on the couch...
Cause a man gotta do what a man gotta do,
And I'm gonna do...
what you tell me to...
Because I'm top dog around here...
but I've been neutered...

(he's the man, he's the man, you’re the man)

Edit: This is called "The Man Song"
It is performed (not sung) by Sean Morey
If you have not heard this, let me explain: the words are spoken, in rhythm, to background music. The bold is spoken at a normal voice, and the non-bold is almost spoken under his breath. There is a very annoying laugh track with it, and a couple of girls who say "(he's the man, he's the man)". Very funny song though!

http://www.menjokes.com/mansong.html There is a link on this page to hear the song. It doesn't work on my computer, but maybe it will on yours if you are interested.