yes, i just sent a PM and asked.. Who decides the meaning? the reader or the writer? and often (very often!) there is gap in their understanding. we each bring so much of our selves, our experiences to bear.. it is hard to write with a pure 'tone' (and i think jackie is very, very good at getting tone right.. to me, she is always clear -- i never need to be told when she has her tongue in her cheek and is joking.. somehow, i know.. )
as for me, in the early weeks i was here, i came across as strident (a bit of critism that stung, because the poster was so very kind, and pointed out were i went wrong so kindly, was someone who's opinion i had already learned to value, and they sent me a mild repremand, that really helped in the long run. they were so kind, and so truthful, i saw clearly they were trying to be helpful and not hurtful (and i think they did help!--now people here accuse me of being a peacemaker!) but i am still almost reduced to tears when i think about it!
i haven't yet been able to master tone.. but i have learned to be a bit gentler, and to sometimes back off, and it works better for me..
i don't think hidden agendas have to be negitive.. (but hidding things can be negitive and destructive) -- still i think the fun AnnaS and Faldage had while courting here was hidden, fun and most definately not negitive in the outcome!
OP
