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The following is attributed to Sam Rayburn, I believe:
A congressman entered a restaurant and, seeing his opponent seated at lunch, walked up behind him. "Sam," he said, putting his hand on the seated gent's bald head, "your head is as smooth as my wife's ass." Sam rubbed his own head for a second, and replied with a glint in his eye, "Why, so it is, Joe; so it is."
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