Oh, F-babe, I have tears streaming! Oh, man! These are great!

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Reckon they'd better become jayrunners, then.
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Good heavens, I took this literally for a minute!
Miners Refuse to Work After Death Should have had DND on their headstones instead of RIP.
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant Apparently detention didn't work.
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge Gee, will he use his bare hands?
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group I volunteer.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Only the vegetarian ones.
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Yow--talk about incentive for staying in school!
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Well...duh!