I'll admit, I too am flummoxed at the sports-naming vagaries of the Southern hemisphere -- and I'm a big fan of odd/foreign sports (the Olympics even got me addicted to curling). Here's what I understand of major non-American sport (note the lack of an "s" on "sports"):

Cricket -- Pretty obvious. Name appears constant the world over.

Soccer -- I assumed everyone but Americans called this sport some variation of "football" ('cept for the Italians who call it "kick"). This is apparently not true in Oz/NZ?

Australian Rules Football -- This is the sport on the round field with people constantly jumping about and kneeing each other in the back of the head, and the referees with the little gunslinger move to signal a goal, right? Despite watching it occasionally late-nights on one of the all-sports networks, I still have no understanding of the rules of this sport. This is called footy in Oz? And what in NZ? Is it even played in NZ?

Rugby -- This is the one with the scrums and the no forward passes and the lack of teeth. A friend of mine in grad school played women's rugby. She was about 5 feet tall and 100 pounds. I have no idea how she survived. What do you call this one?

Thanks for clearing this up for an ugly American.