I spent yesterday playing bridge, and one of my fellow players was inspired by the events of the day to compose a little ditty. Those of you who also indulge in bridge should enjoy this:

Because My Partner Opened One Club

My partner opened "One Club".
It came round to me,
with three clubs, three queens and
ill-disguised glee.

My diamonds were solid
with the queen and the ten.
They were four in number,
so I bid them then.

When my partner bid hearts,
mine skipped a beat.
My trio would help us
land on our feet.

But wait... be patient...
don't support just yet.
Manufacture a spade bid.
It seems the best bet.

Then one no trump I heard.
Quite enough for me.
With all bases covered,
I jumped to three.

Down came a spade lead!
Down came my cards!
My partner's eyes went wide...
and then cold, and then hard.

Such determination she'd need
to see the thing through.
My queen fell to the ace,
but there was always trick two.

A spade came back
through her jack to the king.
The opponents had tempo,
a dangerous thing.

Suffice it to say
luck was not on our side.
Our soldiers all fell
to attacks from behind.

I don't wish to criticize.
That's not in me.
I would have held it
to merely down three.

At the end we'd four tricks,
no more to be found.
We kept them out of game.
My bidding was sound.

So imagine my shock.
Partner threw daggers at me!
The opponents joined in.
It became one on three.

I suffered their slings,
but here is the rub.
Partner is the one
who opened one club!