Well, as good as that sounds, I did say wander, not change my itinerary entirely. I had more of a 200 mile wide swath in mind, with I-75 or I-65 running right down the middle.
Producer: And, to follow the total lack of newsworthy news of any note, including Middle C and A=440, here is a report from our Resident Weather Report Regurgitatoress, Cloudy Bay A very nice wine, especially if you've already had a bottle of something else - er, sorry, I'll read that again. Cloudy Day.
Cloudy Bay ... er, Day Hic! Haec! Hoc!: Here is the weather, or at least some twit of a meterologist's take on it. So I quote: "Hurricane Consuelo is reported to be carving a 200-mile swath..." Swath? Where's that damned dictionary? I think it's swathe myself? What? Really? ... is that your final word on the subject? I'm not allowed to check the accuracy of the wording of weather reports? So ... if that's the case, why are the damned weather forecasting people allowed to get the content so wrong? Oh! You don't say? I thought they had a couple of Crays in the basement of the National Weather Service or whatever? Is that right, just random numbers, eh? So ... those Crays do nothing but jumble up a stack of weather-forecasting-related phrases and churn out a completely made-up forecast? That does explain a lot. Thanks very much! Ahem, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls ... the weather, heh-heh. Make of it what you will.
Hurricane Consuelo is due to carve a swath - however it's spelled or spelt - from the mid-west to the south-east. The hurricane is travelling by car ... Now wait one damned minute, you twat, you don't expect that even the pea-brained general public will wear that one, do you? Hurricanes travelling by car? What next, stretch limos? Their own aircraft? Oh well ...
Folks, the weather forecast isn't making any sense at all today, so here's my personal take on it. The weather will be fine if it is fine, and it will be bad if it isn't. Snow will fall where snow falls. If you have any personal qualms or quibbles with the way that the sky looks at your place, please take an umbrella, suntan lotion or a snow shovel depending on your assessment of the likelihood of the appropriate weather event occurring. There will be a bomb over New Zealand. There's always one of those around. The New Zealand government is starting to suspect weather terrorism. Osama bin Laden is wanted for questioning in connection with the problem.
And if you happen to see a hurricane which answers to the name of "Consuelo" travelling by car from the Michigan area towards the Florida Keys, will you please let me know at AWADTV? And let me know about the swath/swathe, please. Because if you don't let me know that I'm not crazy pretty soon I'm going to jump out of the window. I'm blonde and this studio is in the basement. But I'll do it anyway!
