..and the old gypsy woman hobbled over ta answer it...

"OPEN UP, OLD WOMAN! THIS IS THE AWAD POLICE," was the shout what greeted her as she was about ta place her knobbly hand on the knob.

"Oh dear, calamity!" she shrieked. "What am I supposed ta have done?"

"We'll give it ta ya straight, Missus," came the gruff reply. "Furst ya attempt ta muder the story, then ya try ta cover up yer tracks by posten twice. What's more, there's been a terrable miscarraige of typos and yer not an old gypsy woman but rather an old tipsy woman."

"Have mercy," she sobbed pittifully. "I'm only a poor widda woman. I only drink ta block out the pain of liven. Me sick Auntie is in hospital waiten on a fierce complicated operation. I'm a nice old woman really. I fought in two World Wars. I've fierce trouble with me bunions. I was grate looken in me day. Me liver is gone. Please have mercy on me," she implored. "I'm innocent, I tells ya. Innocent!"

Moved by her distressen sobs, the AWAD Squad broke down.

the door. "And now ye've added goen over the 200 words ta the list of charges."

"It wasn't me! It wasn't me!" she pleaded. "It was me pesky little teddy bear. I rue the day I gave him that red crayon fer his burthday.

"Aw save it fer the Judge, ya drunken oul hussy. Buck her Dano."

Meanwhile...