heresy? you want heresy?? here's a passage from National Lampoon's Bored of the Rings, the story of Dildo and Frito Bugger:

"They asked each other countless riddles, such as who played the Cisco Kid and what was Krypton. In the end Dildo won the game. Stumped at last for a riddle to ask, he cried out, as his hand fell on his snub-nosed .38, 'What have I got in my pocket?' This Goddam failed to answer, and growing impatient, he peddled up to Dildo, whining, 'Let me see, let me see.' Dildo obliged by pulling out the pistol and emptying it in Goddam's direction. The dark spoiled his aim, and he managed only to deflate the rubber float, leaving Goddam to flounder. Goddam, who couldn't swim, reached out his hand to Dildo and begged him to pull him out, and as he did, Dildo noticed an interesting thing on his finger and pulled it off. He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. It's a pity I've run out of bullets, he thought, as he went back up the tunnel, pursued by Goddam's cries of rage."


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/books/0451452615/reader/1/103-7102325-0032609#reader-link