Dear WOW,
Nearly all of these come from the book, Boners, by Alexander Abingdon, ilustrated by Dr. Seuss, copyright 1931, The Viking Press. And you thought they were new!
Here are more from the same source:
Acrimony, sometimes called holy, is another name for marriage.
The Acropolis was a she-wolf that nursed Romeo and Juliet.
Ali Baba means being away when the crime was committed.
Ambiguity means telling the truth when you don't mean to.
A blizzard is the inside of a fowl.
A brazier is the kind of garment the Italians wore instead of having their houses heated by furnaces.
An appendix is a portion of a book, which nobody yet has discovered any use for.
A buttress is a woman who makes butter.
A compliment is when you say something to another which he and we know is not true.
A fugue is what you get in a room full of people when all the windows and doors are shut.
A grass widow is the wife of a vegetarian.
Genuis is the infinite capacity for picking brains.
A goblet is a male turkey.
Gravity is what you get when you eat too much and too fast.
An invoice is another name for the conscience.
Matrimony is a place where souls suffer for a time on account of their sins.
The letters M.D. signify "mentally deficient."
A monologue is a conversation between two people, such as a husband and wife.
An optomist is a man who looks after your eyes, a pessimist looks after your feet.
Paraffin is the next order of angels above seraphims.
A refugee keeps order at a football match.
A prodigal is the son of a priest.
A senator is a half-horse, half-man. (Ever wonder which end is which?
A vacuum is an empty space where the Pope lives.
The Stoics were disciples of Zero, and believed in nothing.
The Rialto was the business end of Venus.
Zanzibar is noted for its monkeys. The British governor lives there.
Figurative language is when you mean rooster and say chandalier.
