Jan 4
This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes!

And those pipers! When the December wind blew, I suffered the misfortune of learning the answer to the age-old question, "What do Scotsmen wear underneath their kilts?" Which was a good deal more than I wanted to know.

You were most unwise to switch from olefactory attack to auditory. For musick is now fully as offended as I, and we shall take steps!

The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I hope you're satisfied.