January 3rd

Dear Em,

Who's this Musick person? Is he cute? Cuter than I?

You wretched slime-breathed hussy! And after all the trouble I've gone to spending nearly every farthing in my Christmas savings account to elicit a few giggles from you!

As for the ten lewds a-leaping, make sure you avoid Roger and Randy. They are hornier than the he-dove.

You, my dear, have torn my heart in two, three times over, and I think I'll hire out a group that will certainly show you the direction my bits of heart are limping towards.

My armor is to become all embouchure, little Miss Dis.

Torn asunder, but still ready for the beating,
Edward