Jan 2nd
Dear Occupant,
In pusuant to the city statute 4321-69b section l5 paragraph 2 - "The *peace shall be maintained without interruption.", I am posting this letter with hammer and nail on your door, and subsequent e-mails will follow.
I, sir/madam am an animal lover. However, you have crossed the line beyond which even I cannot stretch the law to encompass. Aside from the stench that is currently being emmited from your backyard and the unGodly hours in which you have been receiving people and packages (heck, even I enjoy a party now and then), the noise has become untenable. It was fine enough when the cooing began, but since has multiplied into quacking combined with something that has reminded me of a Messian composition as I heard it played recently by our local youth symphonie... and on top of all this, the incessant mooing and the early morning giggling of women have combined to make the one day of the year that I didn't have to work and arduous adventure at discerning what was commentary from the game I was attempting to enjoy on the tele.
Scince I have lost all my ability to sleep in my own bed, I'm spending the next week or so at my family home where the sound of my Aunt Matilda's voice will seem like the tones of Gregorian Chant compared to the racket coming from inside your walls.
I expect your issues to be resolved upon my return. If they are not, the proper authorities will be notified.
Sincerely,
Your half deaf neighbor to the west
