Dear Jacks,

Actually, I do have quite a load of breasts to get out of the shed in my back yard, along with the load of beasts. Bloody bother, both batches of them, especially the wenches. Much more trouble than I'd imagined when I propositioned them with the invitation at the pub near the Famous Crooked Spire. And those men at the bar! They kept saying, "This Edward chap is looking for ten loins a-leaping!" What hubbub! Or, should I say, pubbub!

Tomorrow, Sweetie, after the post has been delivered?

Holly jolly,
Edward