December 31st

Dearest JackieJaguar, I mean Emily!

Was it swans I sent to you? Oh, yes, that's right...swans. Things are ever so confusing these days with so much buying, filling out of delivery slips, meeting a certain jejune party for a tête à tête. My head's swirling, although my heart is fluttering over you, glorious you! Guano makes wonderful manure, so apply yourself vigorously and in the ebullience of the season, with your shovel and hoe, wrapped in red plaid ribbon. Quite a festive touch, don't you agree? And buy the jacuzi! The swans will love it. Just be careful about the temperature setting.

Still making my list and checking it twice,
Naughty Edward

No, Jacks. Not quite yet. I've got a load of beasts still to get out of my backyard!