Bob, the way i see it, there are 2 separate and distinct christmas's-- one is religious one, one is secular.
In countries where there is an established religion, there might be some control over the second (secular) holiday, but in a country like US-- there is no control. the two holiday's have very little in common, except that they share a name and date.
I am not very religious, but i don't let the secular holiday interfere with, or effect Christmas.. i actually rather dislike the secular christmas, i think all the hype and focus on material things can only lead to disappointments, and all the pressure to have an idealize, perfect christmas lead to christmas being one of the most depressing holidays.. Like scrooge, i tend to say bah, humbug! to most of the stuff..
when my kids were young, we focused on making christmas presents, as they got older, it took them a while to learn, i actually liked getting homemade gifts, rather than store bought. and we never went into the feeding frenzy of shopping.. if everyone was like me, christmas season would be a huge financial bust..
(ie. this year for christmas, i got my son and his family a supporting membership in a local museum, for the 10 year old son of my D-I-L, i got a package of modeling clay-- since he enjoys making things.. he made me a miniature dog, fashioned after his own a few weeks ago, with clay i had in the house.)
as for the fine difference between advent, christmas and epiphany, well, i am just not that religious.
what upsets me, was coming out of the train station, and hearing Salvation Army (a religous organization!) "bell ringers" singing secular christmas songs!
