Teacher, teacher! I know!
Many years ago The World Series was played obscurely; no one knew what teams were playing and no one cared. That all changed when Millard Fillmore Famey entered the National League. This guy was better than Cy Young, but Cy got the ward named after him because he was the first super-pitcher in the major leagues. Famey pitched for 31 years, ending up in a minor league where he was in the bullpen, an ingnominious finish to a sterling career.
So far had he fallen that he retreated into the bottle, the beer bottle anyway. He was sitting one day in the bullpen, pulling on his last beer, when the phone rang. "You're on, Famey," said the coach.
"Coach," replied Famey, "I been dozin' a bit. What's the score and who'm I pitchin agin?"
Turns out it was the bottom of the ninth there were two men on base, and the home team was down by two runs. And Famey was pitching to the top three hitters in the league. Famey knew he was in trouble, so he stuck the last beer in his hip pocket so he could take it directly to the shower with him.
Sure enough, his pessimism was accurate. On seventeen pitches he walked home three runs. As he trudged disconsolately toward the locker room, an opponent noticed the beer bottle.
"My God," he said, "is a that a beer in his pocket?"
The opposing coach said, "Son, not only is it a beer, it's the beer that made Mil Famey walk us."
