Then I am failing to understand sumpin'!

as·sault (ə-sôlt')
n.
A violent physical or verbal attack.


Mav, i think plut and keiva are speaking from a strictly legal perspective. Common usage (and common sense) would certainly agree with assault as described in the AHD, but the Criminal Code provides as follows:

PENAL CODE Section 240: An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another.[E.A.]

further,

PC§220: Every person who assaults another with intent to commit mayhem, rape, sodomy, oral copulation, or any violation of Section 264.1, 288 or 289 is punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for two, four, or six years.[E.A.]

As an aside to the lawyers among us, it's been a decade since i TA'd an evidence class in college, so my memory's hazy, but i don't recall seeing this:

PC§222. Every person guilty of administering to another any chloroform, ether, laudanum, or any controlled substance, anaesthetic, or intoxicating agent, with intent thereby to enable or assist himself or herself or any other person to commit a felony, is guilty of a felony.

Was this added recently, in response to the rohypnol craze?

EDIT: *sigh*.... 44 seconds