CLAWED END TERROR

In a move said to presage similar acts by other beleaguered suburbanites, teresag's family today disowned their 12-year old male grey and white Maine coon. The aging feline was banned from the household and relegated to the garage and a small, hastily-constructed litter box shack out beside the hose rack. Said the youngest member of the family, his arms wrapped in gauze, "Now we can buy upholstered furniture in peace."

Neighbors reported that strange yowling noises were coming from the house in recent weeks, and the teresag family often displayed unexplained, yet unmistakable, linear bleeding marks on their extremities.

The family dog was unavailable for comment.