Signs seem to be the topic of choice at the moment, so I forward this for your amusement...
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's Office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
On using the Hotel air conditioner, Japan: COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
In a restaurant, Nairobi: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school, India: NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
On one of the Mathare Buildings: MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.
Warning on an automatic rest room hand dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a Pumwani maternity ward: NO CHILDREN ALLOWED
In a local cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
A Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
Hotel room notice, Chiang-mai, Thailand; PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel brochure, Italy: THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel catering to skiers, Austria: NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF SERVICE.
Hotel, Vienna; IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
Tourist agency, Czech: TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.