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There was an article in my local paper today about San Jose State Univ's "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest", wherein hopeful contestants proffer the worst of their worst. The "winning" entries can be found at http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2001.htm, and include such gems as this:
"Virgule gazed across the vast, cold, steel expanse past his inquisitor to witness the full consequence of his previous decision - feral, withered children, in tattered, filthy garments, toiled mindlessly at his command in a single chamber which reeked of oil and burning animal flesh - his time had come to deliver the final instruction; "Yes! I would like fries with that.""
and this, which some of you who're inclined to think of these things as being funny might find enjoyable:
"Luigi knew deep down in the pits of his four stomachs that he and his fellow bovines on the island could no longer rely on the meager rations of electricity doled out to them by Farmer Pietro to stay warm, and he sought to convince the herd that the heat generated by a few hours of singing would give them the independence they sought, saying simply, "One day mooing heats our isle; I can beat Pete's supply--get some more hay!""
Entire Thread Subject Posted By Posted Worst Prose Anonymous 07/10/01 06:18 PM Re: Worst Prose wwh 07/10/01 08:08 PM Re: Worst Prose Alex Williams 07/10/01 08:59 PM Re: Masochism Tango Faldage 07/11/01 12:33 PM Re: Masochism Tango wwh 07/11/01 12:49 PM Re: Worst Prose AnnaStrophic 07/10/01 09:47 PM Re: Worst Prose wwh 07/10/01 10:37 PM Re: Worst Prose maverick 07/10/01 10:59 PM Re: Worst Prose Bingley 07/11/01 04:34 AM Re: Worst Prose NicholasW 07/11/01 10:38 AM Re: Worst Prose Flatlander 07/11/01 03:06 PM Re: Worst Prose wow 07/11/01 09:19 PM Re: Worst Prose belMarduk 07/11/01 09:48 PM Re: Worst Prose RhubarbCommando 07/12/01 11:13 AM Re: Worst Prose of troy 07/12/01 03:17 PM
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