>Anyone care to share their "go away" answers to telemarketing calls?

A linguistics class in college had us test the limits of speech act theory by answering the often close-ended questions with off-the-wall quips and questions. Surely the callers thought we were insane.

Caller: May I speak with Brandon?

Me: This is Brandon.

Caller: Brandon, you have been pre-approved for a blah blah blah. All we need to do to get this right out to you is to confirm your name and address.

Me: Oh, I've been looking for Aunt Marge. Glad you found her. It's tricky when she gets out from the crawl-space. Note to AWAD folks: Don't do this if you actually have people in your crawl-spaces, basements, cellars, or dungeons)