Jackie, i second Faldage-- the go, go, go, neediness is learned-- and exist like a habit.. it not a bad thing when "the train is on the right track" but-- for me-- its often been on the wrong track-- Long, long ago, i use to get suicidialy depressed.. the train was heading toward the washed out bridge at break neck speed--hey guys, don't worry-- this is something that is part of my deep dark past.. not something to worry about..
now, i make time to meditate.. it's hard.. I haven't gone parachuting, but i have gone down 100 foot dead drop water slides.. where you really are in a free fall.. it scary-- but free fall, is weighlessness.. and even a second or two of it-- is incredable... meditation is a kind of free fall for your mind.. its pretty scary -- the "letting go" of sensual input.. but the sort of mental free fall is .. beyond words.
if its too hard, start with relaxation exersizes.. one by one tighten muscles.. (toes, foot, leg, and then relax them until every muscle in your body has been tensed, and relaxed.. and then try to tighten every muscle, and relax them all... you'll find a few minute of this, "wakeful resting" is equal to about an hours nap. you'll feel (physically) great.. meditation is the same for your mind..
I also practice stillness.. not meditation, because i am very conscious of surrounding.. but i do not react to them.. in times of stillness-- i can "postpone pain" i might be aware of something painful, but the pain is "disassociated" -- stillness scares people-- (when done to excess, the person seems to be catatonic-- ) a mild form of it really bothered my kids-- but i could "turn off" being ticklish.. so when teasing and playing.. i didn't react to their tickling me.. at first they took it as a challenge.. after a while, they realize that they couldn't effect me..(unless i wanted to be effected)
