The wise old woman asks: Please don't tell me you do not own a tux.

Very, well then, I won't. But I will tell you that I don't even own a T shirt with a tux design on it. Some people apparently can be comfortable all wrapped up in starched armor. I am not one of them. If you were to see me in a tuxedo or in tails you would be forced to admit that rather than having a certain je ne sais quoi* I had I don't know what.
*Ænigma suggests jealous Neal sake Quonset. I couldn't fail to disagree less.