you've had your five minutes. You used to do ambiguous headlines with double entendre for a living. Let's see the professional output!

It was a long while ago Cap! But : one feature on a newly formed cricket club in the Seacoast, which was having trouble finding people who could play the game,I headlined :
Finding players a sticky wicket for new cricket league.

If I recall any others I'll let you know.
One of the more famous ones was in Foster's Daily Democrat (Dover, N.H.) when a manned space capsule landed within several hundred yards of the Naval ship on retrieval duty:
Navy misses snatch by a hair

Gutter Police : don't yell at ME, I'm just quoting a real headline!