In reply to:
As to what is served how, I have read that in the 19th century it was customary at dinner to have almost everything that was to be served on the table at once and the diners served themselves and passed the plates around. This was called, I believe, Continental or French service. It was replaced in the last couple decades of the century by Russian service, which was to have the various courses succeed one another and served by the butler/footmen/maids who presented platters to each guest in turn, who helped themselves, leaving no platters on the table. This, of course, has become standard restaurant service.
To expand on Bobyoungbalt's summary:
The four types of service are French, Russian, American (known to the English as English) and Restaurant.
In French service, huge numbers of dishes are set out in symmetrical patterns on the dining table, and guests help themselves and one another from what they find within reach. This was standard until the late nineteenth century, and is perhaps still manifest in modified form as buffet.
In Russian service, which replaced the French, food is arranged on platters which are taken around to the seated guests, who serve themselves. More on service a la Russe later.
In American service, a nod is still given to the old ritual of personally carving for one's guests, after inquiring about the preferences of each guest. If the vegetables are also put on the plate by the host, and everyone passes the plates down the table, it is "family style." If servers do it, it is formal.
In Restaurant service, food is placed in predetermined portions and selections on plates before they are brought to the table. It is a service of efficiency only and has no formal table service pedigree.
Now, as to service a la Russe, if you want a really formal dinner, this is the way to go. All formal dinner invitations and responses must be on paper - no phones, no faxes, no Emails. There should be seating charts in the hallway which the guests may study, cards with each lady's name in a little envelope bearing the name of the gentleman who is her dining partner, and place cards on the table. The charts and cards permit the guests to fake remembering each other, and to avoid their dining partners before dinner (so they haven't talked each other out before the main event). [pop quiz: who knows what I mean when I refer to the hostess turning the table?] There should be menu cards on the table, and real traditionalists will insist that they be in French. The centerpiece should be of flowers and candles, on white or offwhite linen, with small dishes of candy and fruit strategically and symmetrically placed. Guests should be announced upon arrival, and dinner served (or, as the butler should say, "Madam is served") 20 minutes after the arrival time. There should be footmen and identical platters for each four to six guests.
The place setting for each guest is a "cover," and consists of a service plate (a charger), all the flatware except for dessert (up to three pieces of each type of utensil), and stemmed glasses for water and two or three wines. On the service plate is a rolled napkin (never in a napkin ring - that is for family meals) with the place card on top. Above the plate, an individual saltcellar, ash tray (well, not any more), nut dish and menu.
After the guests are seated and the napkins removed, the oyster plate is placed on the service plate, and when that is cleared, the soup plate is placed on the service plate. Those two are removed together, and a heated plate is put in the place. Fish and meat courses are served from platters; the footmen present the platters and the guests take portions for themselves. No seconds.
No place is ever without a plate until just before dessert. At that point, everything is removed except the wine and water glasses. The dessert plate is brought in with a doily on top, a finger bowl on top of that, and a fork balanced on the left side of the plate and a spoon on the right. The guest removes the doily and finger bowl, and places the bowl to the left of the plate and the fork and spoon on either side of the plate. Dessert consists of ices, sweets and fruit.
Warning. Food post follows
Here are courses for a traditional formal dinner:
1. Oysters or clams on the half shell.
2. Soup, with a choice of clear or thick.
3. Radishes, celery, olives and salted almonds.
4. Fish, served with fancifully shaped potatoes and cucumbers with oil and vinegar.
5. Sweetbreads or mushrooms.
6. Artichokes, asparagus, or spinach in pastry.
7. A roast or joint, with a green vegetable.
8. Frozen Roman punch (to clear the palate).
9. Game, served with salad.
10. Heavy pudding or other creamed sweet.
11. A frozen sweet.
12. Cheeses, with biscuits and butter.
13. Fresh, crystallized and stuffed dried fruits, served with bonbons.
14. Coffee, liqueurs, and sparkling waters.
