My father told this story about Wilde. At one point, he had announced to his friends that he was going to go straight. One day he was visited by a friend, who found Wilde pursuing a terrified bell-boy around his hotel room. The friend admonished him, "Oscar, you told us you were going to turn over a new leaf."

"I am," he panted, "just as soon as I get to the bottom of this page."



TEd