Originally Posted By: TheFallibleFiend
I don't know that perfect English from the reviewer is as important as sincerity - so long as the letter is clear. However, here are a few suggestions, which you should accept or disregard according to your own judgment.

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Dear Sir and Madam:
It is a great pleasure to write this letter of reference on behalf of Nie to support her application to study in your university.

I am the vice dean of International Finance School and Nie is one of my outstanding students majoring in Finance.

I first came to know Nie in 2009 when I taught her in a course on Finance. As an undergraduate student, Nie has left me a deep impression of her intellect, devotion and passion for the field. In addition to the issues we talk about in class, sometimes she would come to my office to discuss some of the latest issues in the finance. She expresses her ideas clearly and has good analytical skills. With her passion for study , she did very well in her final exam. She has a good personality, but she vigorously defends her opinions.

Nie has also demonstrated a high degree of leadership capacity, drive and organizational skill in her active participation in the campus activities. In 2009, she represented her class in the Finance Knowledge Contest. As the team leader, she was ambitious and made adequate preparation for which she consulted experts, collected information and helped training her team. Just several days before the contest, she contracted a serious cold, got a fever and finally was sent to hospital. Her team-mates thought she would just quit and all their efforts would be in vain. But surprising she insisted on continuing to work. Their devotion swept them to a championship. Later, her team attended Financial English Competition and she was in charge of a vital part in which the competitor must analyze the latest international finance events given by the question-master in English. Thanks to her agile mind and strong English proficiency, she made a profound and comprehensive analysis, with good teamwork. Her team won the second place in that competition.

Based on her performance, I believe Nie is a qualified candidate for your program. If I can provide any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
XXX
Professor and Vice Dean of International Finance School
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Awesome！I believe that my sister will benefit a lot from the revise which you made for her.
Thanks a lot,TheFallibleFiend smile