Yes, indeed I can think of a Gordian knot: the knot of
human relationships. Last year, an old friend who was the most beautiful person I have ever known died of cancer in a relatively short period of time. Being with him through
these months taught me an invaluable lesson: don't hold
back the good stuff, because you might suddenly find that it is too late to make up for lost time. So I have pretty
much quit playing relationship games, and cut right to the
important parts: if I love someone, I tell them so. For
the others, I have learned that you might as well be nice--
it takes very little effort, and is MUCH more likely to
get you what you want (a good response) than being ugly is.
For the ones who do not reciprocate, then I decide whether
I want to continue in the same vein or not. People are not
required to like me back, and if I decide that it is costing me too much to continue, I can simply tell them so,
without rancor. Everything we do is about making choices.
I choose (mostly!) not to get ugly with people. Acting ugly takes a lot more effort than being nice, and I have
much better ways of spending my energy. Things like this
still feel quite risky to me, but mostly I'm finding that
I reap what I sow.
