Well this is what I've learnt/read: They say write in images - visuals. You have different visuals there - you could perhaps hang on to one visual for longer - or not. Also they say to obfuscate your meaning a little "tell all the truth but tell it slant." Though I do not agree with this entirely. I like being hit by beautiful writing that I can understand. OTOH I do agree with "the fascination of what is difficult" even though it "has dried the sap out of my veins". The best way is to give it away, but not give it all, and to give in as beautiful a manner as you can. The most important thing is to follow your bliss. Don't do anything that 'they say' if it kills your bliss. If you feel good about your writing, if after keeping the poem in "deep freeze" for a while it does not get stale, you are doing something right! Keep writing. I hope this post does not appear didactic.