THE monarchy must go. That is the inescapable conclusion of Simple Sophie's royal circus.

The Countess of Wessex may have ruined her own professional life with her serial indiscretions about people in public life.

Who would now wish to hire her as a public relations whizzkid?

But she has done the rest of us a big favour by putting a monster question mark over the future of the House of Windsor.

And about time too. The excesses of the foolish, self-indulgent and wayward children of the Queen - those who would rule us, let us not forget - cry out for radical change.

Not reform, because that would be a failure to grasp the nettle. Abolition is the only way forward, however long it takes.

Sophie's folly is the latest embarrassment in a cycle of shame stretching back years.

The divorces of every other royal in line for the throne.

The absurd and shocking behaviour that offers no example to Her Majesty's subjects.

The desire to make money out of being born with a silver spoon in your mouth.

Surely most sensible Britons now think that this costly, undignified farce must end.

Whatever the mystique of days gone by, the monarchy no longer brings millions of tourists to our shores.

It does nothing for the dignity of our nation. And it is a positive bar to the genuine modernisation of Britain.

So where is Tony Blair's so-called mission to modernise? He loves the weekly sessions with the Queen, where he is more forthcoming than he would ever be with the voters or the Parliamentary Labour Party.

He pretends to be a democrat, but he gladly bends the knee to unelected authority living the better-than-good life in Buckingham Palace.

I find this sickening. It is the final cop-out of an elected politician who would sooner curry favour with a dynastic monarch than look after the people who put him in power. It demeans us and him.

I have met the Queen. She is a smart lass. I would have her on the union branch committee, but I wouldn't make her chairman.

She works hard at the job to which she was born, and undoubtedly has integrity. But the hereditary system is wrong.

We do not expect the son of the England football team captain to follow him in the job or John Major's son to be Prime Minister.

So why do we exalt the law of succession in the case of kings and queens? Because THEY want to keep it that way. They rather enjoy the ruling biz. It beats emptying bedpans in an NHS hospital.

Simple Sophie has brought this suppurating carbuncle on the face of public life to the boil.

Her naive behaviour showed just how "The Firm" misuses public life to make money and have a good time.

Drinks in the Savoy with a fake sheik? Why not? "Hello darling, what a dreadful bore these Labour people are..."

If I am to believe Palace gossip, the clueless countess is only aping the Queen Mother, who is said to enjoy mimicking the working class accents of those who bring her piledriver gin and tonics.

Some Labour MPs are willing to wound the monarchy, but they are afraid to strike. They want fewer royals, not an end to dynastic rule.

Tony Wright, chairman of the Commons Public Administration Select Committee, has called for a slimmed-down Royal Family. "If we don't do it now I'm afraid the monarchy will not survive the life of the present Queen," he says.

Really? What is there to be afraid of? Christmas TV news without tired shots of the Queen at Sandringham? A 2002 without a day off for the Golden Jubilee?

Sorry. The Windsors have misbehaved the royal prerogative into oblivion.

When the Queen dies, or abdicates (which is unlikely), there should be a referendum on the future of the monarchy.

If the cringing politicians will not organise it, then the people should off their own bat.

A "No" vote should not send the Windsors into exile, more likely into working for Tesco as so many others have to.

And a "Yes" vote will not be the end of it. The Sophies, Edwards, Harrys, Charleses, Williams, Annes, Fergies and Andrews have signed their own dissolution warrants.

It is simply a matter of time. I may not live to see it, but I fervently hope that my grand-daughters do.

Copyright © The Mirror. London: Apr 10, 2001

(thanks to ProQuest)