Howye fokes! How is things? Inspired by the the success of Albear Camoos’s furst racy novel "A Bad Hare Day", MadDogTed decided ta have go at writen somethin in the Chick Lit vane fer himself, and his little offeren called "John with the Wind" is all about a weather cock called John what finds it hard ta find love cos he’s stook on toppa the barn and never gets ta meet anyone and, as a result takes ta overdosen on beans fer ta fill the emotional void inside a him. Subsequently he gets a pernamint dose a the flatulince what grately effects his work cos he’s never quite sure which way the wind does be blowen and ends up haven ta rely on his bunions fer ta predict the weather.
But then he meets the love a his life, Muriel the bat, what flies inta his life and she buys him some corn plasters fer his burthday and cures his bunions. A course, this means he can no longer forcast the weather cos as a token a her affections, Muriel just loves ta feed him beans and so he still hasn’t a clue which way the wind does be goen. Anyways, as a result dosen’t he lose his job and our pair a love burds end up bitter, twisted, fly-by-night renegades what spend the resta a their lives on the rampage, brutally gorgen the eyes outta any weathermen what crosses their path and violently knocken the heds offa any Child a Prague what gets in their way.
Basically, ya could say the the two a them completely lose the plot, which is really what MadDogTed’s furst attempt at a romantic novel does from the very furst word what he wrote. Fer that reason, ya can imagine me surprise when he told me that he’d actually found a publisher fer his odious opus. And when I sed that his novel didn’t quite embrace the sugary romantic essince a what Chick Lit is all about he sed, “Chick Lit, me f n arse, it’s Sick Lit what I do be writen, fer sure!” And I’ll tell ye fokes, there’s no better Ted fer the job.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
