THE MORAL: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Some years ago I was lamenting to the "stud" in my bicycle club about my lack of connubial connection, whereupon he, who had a new woman every week, made the following suggestion to me: "Buy a new, ultra high tech, $2,000 bike, buy the latest yuppie lycra outfit, and, to enhance your sex appeal, put a medium sized potato in your shorts." I complied with his suggestion, much to the chagrin of my bank account, and set out to try my luck. The bike chics I encountered, rather than being friendly, only pointed and laughed. Upon my return from my ride I told the Club Stud of my dismal failure. He looked me over, then suggested, "Put the potato in front."