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I like it. It's clear what it means and it flows poetically. Onliest reason you'd not like it is if you have some knee-jerk reaction hardwired in to your language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem.


I beg your pardon. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is not hardwired to my knees. My language reception optico-sensory input mental cortex subsystem is hardwired to my heart which jerks and breaks each time you see fit to defend the corruption of the English language.

May God save the King's english before he saves the King!