Howye fokes! How is things? Me little pal, MadDogTed, is just beside himself with the response what he got ta last week’s explanation a the Da Vinci code. A course, I’m convinced meself that haff a ye is only sucken up ta him fer ta get a slurp a the Holy Gray Ale what’s been hidden beneath Slasher’s Bar fer years.

I’ll tell ye, the hole thing about Jesus haven a wife and kids is mind blowen fer sure, cos that would mean that he wasn’t the divine sona God at all – just one a his regular children like the resta us. And sure where would that leave society as we know it taday? Fer starters, the Easter Bunny and Santy would be outa job fer sure and would probably be sued ta boot fer unfair traden. And no more Furst Holy Commumion would mean no more junior fake tans, lip waxes, ringlets, fancy frocks, limos, helicopters, posh nosh do’s and all that sorta stuff. And that would just cripple the economy – not ta mention the Joneses and all whose soul purpose in life is to keep up with them. And the govermint would have ta introduce a amesty fer ta get back all the Commumion money from them cute misers what still have it.

The shamrock and St Patrick would have ta go too, ya know - cos it would be just the Father and the Holy Ghost. Unless, a course, it’s the Father, Son, Grandson and the Holy Ghost, in which case ya’d have ta go fer a four-leaved clover but then again that would only cover the furst 3 generations – unless ya were ta go fer a genetically modified clover and keep adden leaves as each new offspring was born. But then again genetic modification is totally against relegion. But on the other hand, it looks as if there no longer is any relegion. A course, if there was and ya were actually parta this divine bloodline and God was yer granddaddy, then ya'd really cash in on yer Holy Commumion day.

Lissen, I’m off fer a sup a that Holy Gray Ale before me confused little mind explodes alltagather.

Be seein ya

GallantTed