On Hogwash
Oh gentle readers may I present these lies?
(Though fibs would be a more forgiving name
For true lying is something to despise
And with these jesting lies we play a game)
With porcine zeal one must sniff out the truth
To tread in muck all players must be resigned
And if your pen seduces a master sleuth
I impede not the marriage of such minds
For deception is truly central to this art
Just as it is in love and also war,
The tone as much as the act must play its part
Like the cries of passion of a whore
A sennight now I have received your notes
The candidates do now await your votes
* * * * * * * *
a) Sifted gravel
b) Rock outcropping in the wake of glacial retreat.
c) Unit of capacity equal to one half firkin.
d) Slang: a motorcycle that doesn't quite measure up to a Harley Hog.
e) Hoggin, or haughin: (Scots) a low lying meadow in a river valley.
f) The stand in a brewery on which rests the large vessel for brewing and storing ale (the "hogshead")
g) The barrel of ale provided for harvesters to toast the "old woman" (the last sheaf) after the harvest
h) Colloquialism: ice cream with half the standard fat content
i) A squaredance hoedown where the single men can claim their partners for the entire night by being first to ask the lady for her company.
j) (noun): A now-obsolete wooden device used to remove the residue that builds up around the edges of cast-iron cookware. Consuela broke her hoggin when attempting to clean a singularly old and oft-used frypan.
k) Street slang for bodybuilders who overuse the steriod "homogin". Overdosing occasionally leads to violence and aggression.
l) To drive or go for a ride on a motorcycle without a specific destination. To go hoggin
m) A horned helmet
n) A box that will hold at least four hods of coal.
o) The wool from a young, previously unshorn sheep.
