As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list -- I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed -- who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs --
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs --
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat --
All persons who in shaking hand, shake hands with you like that --
And all third persons who on spoiling tete-a-tetes insist --
They'd none of 'em be missed -- they'd none of 'em be missed!

Chorus of Men:

He's got 'em on the list -- he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed -- they'll none of 'em be missed!