Yup, musick, the right words are important, especially in healing the heart. Here's where I refer to this issue in my book.

Beloved or barnacle?

Some who reviewed the manuscript of this book suggested that I refer to the Beloved in a less romantic or endearing term; that the very use of the word “Beloved” suggests an ongoing attachment to that person. Words like “my attachment,” or “the one I loved,” or even “past love” were suggested to take the charge off a discussion about the Beloved. But I submit it’s unhelpful to demonize or even neutralize the Beloved and, during my own detachment, I refused to do so. After all, I reasoned, I tend to exercise good judgment when I love someone--that is, if I love someone, he’s worthy of that place in my heart until he proves himself otherwise. To now reduce the Beloved to merely an emotional “attachment” is to say that my judgment can’t be trusted. I believe that I honor the place the Beloved had in my life by referring to him as what he was to me. This treatment doesn’t compromise one’s ability to form a strong bond with another Beloved somewhere down the road--in fact, that’s our goal. We can cherish the memories and recognize the authenticity of the relationship by acknowledging, “I would not be who I am without this experience.” The relationship happened. It had a soul and a life force, albeit a force that needs to be forsaken now. As Whitney Houston sang so powerfully, “The ride with you was worth the fall.”

By the way, my working title is "How to Unlove Someone...in 30 Days or Less."

(Still searching for the right word, as I want to abandon "Beloved.")