I feel your pain, Owlbow. <sympathetic smile>

In fact, the word I'm looking for is to be used in a book I'm writing about getting over a love relationship. I was going to use the word "beloved" to describe the person with whom one is striving to fall OUT of love, but that imbues the ex-love with too much present emotion. I'm looking to this group to help me find the perfect word for an "ex-" who is, at least for now, an ex in name only. Thanks.