Good morning, Wannabes.

It's a slow news day [so far] so we'd like to take you on a little trip down memory lane while Paris rests up for her next red-hot romp on the Heirwaves.

Call it an slight heirgression!

And, don't forget, we could have a special surprise for you any minute. The BIG CARP himself could be joining us "live". That's right, Wannabes. He's just like the mountain you've been hearing about on TV.

You never know when he's going to blow his top.

So far the Big Carp is just venting steam. But the magma is cracking up his composure, believe me.

So STAY TUNED.

Did you know that magma on the move can blow a rock a foot long 3 miles over ground? That's true! This thread is being monitored by Carpal Tunnels so we won't make any explicit comparisons with Paris. But, suffice it to say, Paris can blow your mind as well as your, er, imagination.

Here's a reminder, Carpalheads ... just in case your lurkin'.

http://www.platinum-celebs.com/models-pictures/paris_hilton/paris_hilton_pictures_02.html

And, if that isn't enough to keep you standing by, themgmt could be dropping by any time to give us the latest seismic data on the Big Carp.

We went to "Stage 3" alert when the Big "Cap" went into "harmonic tremors" yesterday afternoon, but he's settled down some since them.

But it's just a matter of time, Heirheads. This "Cap" is gonna blow. themgmt is on this 24/7.